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2016万圣节推荐看超搞笑话 超冷笑话精选嘘です – 万圣节短信

2016年11月13日 2016节祝福语 暂无评论

早上老婆黑着脸、气愤地对老公说:“你非得一晚七八次,你不知道我不喜欢开灯么?今晚你再这样,睡沙发去!”老公委屈道:“我尽量,今天吃药了,应该不会再拉肚子了。”

某校园论坛上有人问“学校用蟑螂香灭蟑螂后,怎么蟑螂出没得更频繁了呢,以前都没怎么看见的。”某学生跟帖回答:“你家人不见了你不着急么?”

有天老公问我:“如果我死了,你怎么办?”我说:“跟闺蜜吃饭逛街继续嗨。”然后我问他:“如果我死了,你怎么办?”他恶狠狠地说:“跟你闺蜜吃饭逛街各种嗨。”

一傻缺开车到交通岗冲交警喊道“你看我没有驾驶证我照样开车你能把我怎的?”交警看都没看他走到副驾对里边人说:“这个SB要是能拿到驾驶证我就把你教练证废了”

本人大学毕业,刚进公司老板就给我买了一台三十五万的新车,还给我安排了公司里技术最好的司机。可我每天工作并不开心,难道我念四年大学就是为了来这里学开铲车。

有个百万富翁被告知得了绝症只剩下半年时间,伤心之余找了个杀手,让在自己最开心的时候杀掉他。几天后,百万富翁接到误诊的通知,正笑得开心,被杀手杀了。

动物园召开讨论会,主持人问:“猫是否会爬树?”老鹰抢答:“会!”主持人:“请举例说明!”老鹰含泪说道:“那年,我睡熟了,猫爬上了树…后来就有了猫头鹰!”

朋友媳妇蹲厕所20分钟了,我们都在等她,我说怎么这么慢,怎么回事,朋友说:你等会。然后就把无线路由器关了,她媳妇2分钟就出来了……

有一天,男神送我回家,到门口时,他突然冒了一句:我想上你这待会儿。我说:好!于是,我把他拽过来,让他站在了我刚才站在的地方。哎!他想法真奇怪,站哪不一样?

听闻剩下的三个军医大学要撤,有人高兴了:第二军医大学、第三军医大学、第四军医大学,第一军医大学等你好久了!东方医科大学、西方医科大学、北方医科大学,南方医科大学等你好久了!

2016万圣节推荐看超搞笑话

班上一矮个妹妹擦黑板,我在下面看她擦高的地方实在费劲。我走上讲台对她说:“我来帮你吧!”她不好意思的说:“谢谢你。”于是我一把搂住她的腰把她抱了起来

中午在一家餐厅吃饭,客人向老板投诉有个孩子太吵了,影响就餐环境。我当时觉得很抱歉,就把孩子揍了一顿。回家的路上,我一直在想:“那到底是谁家的孩子?打的过瘾!”

武媚娘去了一趟尼姑庵,立马成了武则天!....甄嬛去了一趟尼姑庵,出来当了皇太后!....杨玉环去了一趟尼姑庵,转身变成杨贵妃! ....什么也不说了,你们赶紧收拾收拾去尼姑庵,回来指不定你是谁了............[吓]偷笑][偷笑][偷笑]三八节快乐![呲牙]

一村长喝多回家错进猪圈,躺在母猪身边说:老婆:给我倒杯水,母猪哼了一哼,村长说,不倒就不倒呗,撒什么娇。随手一摸说:买皮衣啦,还是双排扣呢。

老师:“请大家想象一下,假如你在一个有恐龙的世界里,而有一条正准备要吃你,你该怎么办?”小明:“这还不简单!马上停止想象就行。”老师:“你出去!”

英文对照阅读:

Say wife is black in the morning face, furiously to husband: "Your have to one evening 78, don't you know I do not like the light? Tonight you again such, sleep sofa goes! " husband subdues: "I as far as possible, took medicine today, should not again have loose bowels. Should not again have loose bowels..

The somebody on some campus forum asks " the school uses cockroach sweet destroy after cockroach, how does cockroach appear and disappear oftener, how to see previously. " some student follows post answer: "Didn't your family see you are not anxious? "Didn't your family see you are not anxious??

One day husband asks me: "If I died, how do you do? " I say: "Honey following boudoir has a meal shop continue hey. " next I ask him: "If I died, how do you do? " he says ferociously: "With you boudoir honey has a meal shop all sorts of hey. "With you boudoir honey has a meal shop all sorts of hey..

One foolish be short of drive to cry to the policeman to traffic hillock " do you see me there is a driver's license do I drive all the same you can me how? " the policeman looks to did not see him go deputy to drive right inside the person says: "If this SB can obtain a driver's license I abandoned your coach card "

This person university graduates, just bought a new car of fifty thousand and thirty to me into company boss, still arranged the driver with the best technology in the company to me. But I work everyday not happy, I attend a college 4 years is to come here to learn the forklift.

A millionaire the accused knew to get incurable disease to go time of half an year only, looked for a killer sadly, let kill him when him is the happiest. After a few days, millionaire is received by accident the announcement of examine, laughing happily, was killed by killer.

The zoo holds discussion, compere asks: "Whether is the cat met swarm? " eagle grabs answer: "Can! " compere: "Ask illustrate! " eagle is tearful say: "That year, I sleep ripe, the cat mounted a tree... there was owl later! The cat mounted a tree... there was owl later!!

Friend son's wife crouchs a toilet 20 minutes, we are waiting for her, I say how so slow, how to return a responsibility, the friend says: The meeting such as your. Next wireless road by implement closed, her daughter-in-law came out 2 minutes...

One day, male god sends me to come home, arrive when the doorway, he risked suddenly: I think you this after a while. I say: Be good! Then, I drag him, let him stand in me the place that a moment ago the station is in. Hey! His think of a way is really bizarre, station which are different?

3 Military Medical Universities that hear remains want to remove, somebody is glad: The 2nd Military Medical University, the third Military Medical University, the 4th Military Medical University, the first Military Medical University wait for you for ages! Oriental medical university, west medical university, northward medical university, southern medical university wait for you for ages!

Section of 20.16 million emperor is recommended look super- make joke

On the class one short the little sister brushs blackboard, I see her brush tall place below really laborious. I am on dais to say to her: "I will help you! " she feels embarrassed say: "Thank you. " then I hug her waist held her in the arms rise

Have a meal in a dining-room midday, the guest is complained to the boss have a child too noisy, affect repast environment. I feel to be very sorry at that time, hit the child. On the way home, I am thinking all the time: "The child of whose home is that after all? Hit satisfy a craving! Hit satisfy a craving!!

Woman of fierce fawn on went nunnery, became Wu Zetian immediately! . . . . Discriminate went nunnery, came out to become empress dowager! . . . . Yang Yu annulus went nunnery, face about becomes Yang Guifei! . . . . Whats did not say, you are cleared away rapidly clear away go nunnery, come back to point to adventitious who are you. . . . . . . . . . . . [Frighten] titter] [titter] [titter] 38 joy! [Tooth of give a talking-to]

One mayor drinks much fault coming home to enter piggery, lie beside the sow to say: Wife: Pour a cup of water to me, sow hum one hum, mayor says, do not fall, scatter what charming. Conveniently feels say: Buy fur clothing, double still platoon is buckled.

Teacher: "Ask everybody to imagine, if you are in a world that has dinosaur, and one is preparing to want to eat you, how should you do? " Xiaoming: "This returns not simple! Stop an imagination to go immediately. " teacher: "You go out! "You go out!!

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