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隔世离空,如何做你的红颜【优秀散文】

2016年11月13日 精文阅读 暂无评论

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  明知道那深夜里的一杯咖啡会让我无法入睡,我还是拒绝不了那份诱惑:只为那份回味无穷的泛甜的苦涩。可终究是苦啊,如若是甜在唇齿,怎么会无法入眠?

  此刻,你行走在哪个街头,你坐在哪窗灯下,亦或你正在谁人的娇柔的目光里?

  总以为纵然你远隔千尺,纵然我绝尘而逝,我们依然能够心灵相通。当风抚过我的长发时,当云飘过我的眼眸时,当孤雁掠过我的窗前时……我想那是我的思念要触及到你最柔软的心上了!

  我在忙碌的某个瞬间,突然间的,心就生生地痛了——没有缘由地痛了。我想那是你在心里念着我了!是你又在为我写那些伤感而妩媚的文字了!

  在片刻的恍惚里,看见你凝望我的深情的爱怜。

  待我伸手时,你早已逃遁远去。我伸出的手,停在空中,然后只好自我掩饰般的收到心口。——原来你根本不曾来过,原来你根本没有念及我。翻开那些文字,才发现其实那也不是你,那只是红尘中谁人和我雷同的一份伤感而已。我只是用它来安慰我自己的孤独而已。

  ——我这样的一场自演自导的独角戏里,你自始至终都没有出场,也不愿出场罢。你至多只是在某个我看不见的角落里冷冷地看着我一个人舞成一只扑火的飞蛾。或者你连看也不屑于去看一眼吧。这样的惊觉里,疼痛像四月里的一根青藤,开始在我的心底肆意蔓延……

  “孤寂的旅途是单程的约会,相近,相识,后各自而飞……”只是相近过,只是相识过,如今早已隔世离空!

  朋友打来电话,我们不咸不淡地聊着。不知怎么地她就提到你的名字——只是提到了你的名字!只是说和你聊天了。一句话,一个名字,竟让我在那一瞬间战栗不止。痴痴地立在那里半天没有说一句话,朋友连问你怎么啦怎么啦,这才反应过来,心里尽是痛,眼里尽是酸涩。

  很想很想问一声:他好吗?他最近怎么样了?他和你都聊了些什么?

  终而,我还是一言未出。

  只剩下深深的悲哀。于你,连一个最普通的朋友能知道的消息我都不曾知道了。我怎么还能这样天真地以为我们还能心灵相近、灵犀相通?

  我不觉哽咽,说不出话来。

  朋友问你怎么啦,你的嗓子好像有些不对劲啊。我说没有,是你的手机信号有问题。朋友竟信以为真了。

  ——我就这样活在自己的谎言里,就像我骗着自己去想像你也会如我思念你这般思念着我。

  “多么想让你走近我的心扉,一同承受心灵的忏悔,人生的路上,你我紧紧相随……”今生早已注定无缘做你相随左右的爱人,只是奢望你能走近我的心扉吧。可只能是奢望——我问自己,我是你的谁?你的红颜吗?不,我不爱这个词,我想你也不爱,这个词太暧昧吧。

  朋友吧。可是朋友也不是了。也许是我无法剔除所有的感情过往做你干干净净天高云淡的朋友;或者根本是你没有把我当成一个朋友来给我我想要的关怀,我讨厌我的心细如发,总能感受到你的逃避——就算是个朋友,你也是在逃避吧,我为什么要让你如此地逃避我?所以我应该安安静静地走开,给你你想要的平静吧。

  曾经,我是那样地努力,把所有的感情封牢,只是给你微笑,只是和你谈谈天气谈谈晚餐吃些什么,只是问问你有没有帮帮你的那个她做了家务……不言感情,我只要能感受到你,只要在我心底想念的时候,能在一句简单的调侃之后让你打开视频,看看你在我心底已经泛黄的容颜,听听你有些让我回忆不出的说话的声音……可是一切努力只是徒然。

  如今,我快乐也好,悲伤也罢,都已经在你看不见的地方,在你不想打听的地方,你快乐了吗?如果你真的快乐了,那就这样吧。

  生命就是一场单程的孤寂的约会,爱过,恨过,所有一切由我来承受。做不了你的爱人,做不了你的朋友,更不做你的红颜……为了你的快乐,我就只能这样的隐去,再隐去。

  抬头凝望天际那朵流泪的云,伸出双手,就把那些泪滴酿成这深夜里的一杯咖啡吧;再用思念把生命里的那一场爱浇灌成一朵娇艳的玫瑰,悠悠地开在我的心上。——只为圆这一场心碎的完美,只为自己一个人在这样的夜里沉醉。

  推荐阅读:

  青春这场不散的电影

  一转瞬的回眸

  爱你在心

  爱情里,守一座城,念一个人

  品一杯茶看一个人

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英文对照阅读:

Philosophic theory essay | Essay of a person of academic or artistic distinction | Prosaic concentration | Elegant essay | Classical essay

Know perfectly well a cup of coffee in that late night to be able to let me cannot fall asleep, I still cannot reject that temptation: Recall boundless extensive for that only sweet agonized. Can be suffering after all, if be sweet,age in the lip, how to meet cannot enter Mian?

At the moment, you walk in which street, you sit below which window lamp, also or in the vision with the flexible charming of whose person you are?

Even if,always think your remoteness 1000 feet, even if I absolutely dirt and die, we still can the heart is interlinked. When wind has stroked my long hair, when the eye eye that crosses me when Yun Piao, before the window that passes by me when Gu wild goose when the longing that I think …… is me then should touch went up to your softest heart!

My a certain instant in business, abrupt between, the heart is unripe virgin soil became painful —— is painful without cause ground. I think that is you are reading aloud me in the heart! Be you are writing those are sentimental and lovely script for me again!

In moment absentminded in, see what you gaze at my deep feeling show tender affection for.

When waiting for me to stretch one's hand, you already escape is far go. The hand that I reach, stop in sky, be forced next ego is concealed like get the pit of the stomach. So you ever had come to —— far from, so you did not read aloud at all reach me. Translate those written languages, just discover actually that also is not you, whose person and I duplicate in just thing word of mortals then sadness just. The loneliness that I just comfort myself with it just.

—— I such perform self-guided monodrama oneself in, you did not come on the stage first and last, also do not wish to come on the stage. You just are at most in my invisible a certain corner look at me coldly one individual dance attacks into flying moth of fire. Or you look to also disdain to glance repeatedly. Such Jing becomes aware in, resemble a Qing Teng in April sorely, begin to be in my bottom of the heart is wanton spread ……

The journey with lonely “ is one-way appointment, close, acquaintance, hind respective and flying ……” is close passes only, just had been acquainted, if already lay between a world to leave this morning empty!

The friend makes a telephone call, we are not salty chatting not weakly. Do not know how the name that she just mentioned you with respect to the name —— that mentions you! It is compose a quarrel only you chatted. A word, a name, let me be in unexpectedly that is flashy quaky and more than. Crazy crazy ground stands to did not say a word a long time over, the friend asks you repeatedly how how, this ability response comes, be full of painful in the heart, be full of acerb in the eye.

Want to want to ask very much very much: Is he good? Is he the closest how? What did he and you talk about?

Eventually and, I still am one character did not go out.

Remain deep distress only. At you, I never knew even the news that friend of a prevailing can know. How do I still think we return interior close, can clever rhinoceros to be interlinked so can innocently?

I do not become aware choke with sobs, do not say to give a word to come.

The friend asks you how, your voice is like something wrong interest. I say, the mobile phone signal that is you has a problem. The friend believed unexpectedly.

I am in —— alive so in oneself crammer, cheating oneself to envisage you to if I long for you to longing for me so,also be met like me.

How does “ want to let you approach my heart door leaf, bear together interior confess, on the road of life, we are destined to do you to follow right-and-left sweetheart without the predestined relationship already along with ……” this life closely, it is extravagant hopes only you can approach my heart door leaf. But can be I ask extravagant hopes —— myself only, I am you who? Your beauty? Not, I do not love this word, I think you also do not love, this term is too ambiguous.

Friend. But the friend also is not. Perhaps be me cannot all emotional associate with do eliminate you are clean Tian Gaoyun's weak friend; perhaps is you did not regard me as at all a friend comes to me the care that I want, what I am fed up with me is careful if send, always can experience you escape —— to be a friend, you also are to escaping, why should if here escapes me,I let you? So I go away quietly, the calm that to you you want.

Once, I am in that way effort, seal all feeling prison, just smile to you, just talk with you talk about weather to talk about dinner what to eat, just ask you help you that she did household …… not talk feeling, I want to be able to experience you only, when wanting to be missed in my bottom of the heart only, can speak simply in later let you open video, see you had floated in my bottom of the heart yellow appearance, the sound …… that listens to you to have some of conversation that invites my memory not to go out but all effort are unfruitful only.

Nowadays, my joy it may not be a bad idea, sadness, had been in your invisible place, do not consider inquiring place in you, are you happy? If you are happy really, that such.

Life is an one-way lonely appointment, had loved, had hated, all everything bears by me. Cannot make your sweetheart, cannot become your friend, more the female …… that does not do you the joy for you, I can such concealed goes, again concealed goes.

Look up the cloud that gazes at horizon Na Duo to weep, extend both hands, lead to those tear a cup of coffee in this late night; reoccupy longing irrigates that one love in life into a delicate and charming rose, leisurely ground leaves to go up in my heart. —— is a circle only of this one heartbreak perfect, it is oneself only a person gets drunk in such night.

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